Heart Attitude #4 is preventative medicine for gossip, back-biting - and even slandering someone.

4. Assume the best of others until proven otherwise (Phil 4:8; I Cor 13:5-7).

We’ve all involved done what I call third party maneuvering. That’s where we bend the ear of someone who has nothing to do with the conflict that we’re facing. We look for affirmation from a third party that we’re right and the other person is wrong. We put them down in all kinds of ways. Then, what happens? The person not involved in the conflict suddenly finds themselves in the middle of it. They even develop a poor opinion of the other person based on what they’re hearing. Many times it may not even be true.

The healthy to do when someone comes to us to put another person down or complain about them is to discern whether or not he or she has genuinely tried to work this out with those who are directly involved. Maybe a comment back to the person life - “This doesn’t sound like him … have you tried to talk with him and share your feelings?” Give people the benefit of the doubt and encourage the two parties to clear things up between in a spirit of openness, love and forgiveness.

If the two parties involved have tried this and it hasn’t worked, only then would a mediator or someone else get involved in helping to bring about reconciliation.

God’s heart is that we stop the gossip and seek reconciliation. There’s something about the inner peace that we experience when we listen, forgive and reconcile - whenever possible.