If marriage is to become all that God intended it to be, then we must embrace God’s plan for oneness. The Bible mentions that God’s plan for oneness is leaving, cleaving and weaving. The leaving part is simply separating from our parents.

Cleaving and weaving (or building intimacy) happen over a lifetime. The Bible says that when a man and a woman join together in marriage, they become one flesh. That means that there is actually a spiritual, emotional and relational bond between them. There are barriers that keep us from living out that oneness:

Eradicating the Barriers to Cleaving

~ Accept our natural differences.

Genesis 1 [27] So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

~ Be aware of our natural weaknesses.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:9-10

We all have weaknesses. And these weaknesses can become magnified in marriage. If we’re not aware of them, we can’t work on them. As we become aware of our own weaknesses and as we draw closer to God, we become aware that His power and strength is sufficient to help us face anything.

~ Anticipate how selfish we can be at times.

Isaiah 53 [6] All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.

Philippians 2 [3] Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. [4] Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

~ Recognize the real enemy of our marriages.

Ephesians 6 [10] A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. [11] Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. [12] For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.