QUESTIONS SERIES: How can someone who claims to be a Christian leader in the church knowingly do wrong while telling you the opposite?

The first thought that comes to mind as I read this question is the exact middle verse of the Bible – Psalm 118:8 – It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. Now, quoting this verse is not meant to somehow excuse a leader who may act hypocritically. But I sense that many people who have been hurt, lied to or burned by leaders in the church can project their frustration or pain onto God – and somehow blame him. I have learned myself over the years that people may let you down – even the ones you trust the most … and even those in leadership in the church … may let you down. But, as this verse says, God never will.

Hypocrisy was an issue that the Apostle Paul addressed as he spoke to some religious leaders – You then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law. For, as it is written, ‘The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.’ Romans 2:21-24

Even though leaders in the church are people too, there needs to be the highest standards of conduct and genuineness. The Bible is clear that those in leadership will be held more accountable by God. James 3:1 says, Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.

For an overseer {leader/pastor/elder in the church}, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it (Titus 1:7-9).

The bottom line is that leaders in the church should seek to live out Christ in them – in accordance with the ethical standards set forth in passages like the ones mentioned here. And, they should also be accountable to other pastors or elders in the church. If someone in the church notices inconsistent behavior in a leader, the Bible says that they need to lovingly “carefront” them (Galatians 6:1-4) in hopes that they will listen and respond accordingly. If the leader is an overseer or elder, the Bible gives clear instruction about confirmation of any sinful behavior. Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses (1 Timothy 5:19). The goal is always restoration of someone who has fallen into unhealthy behavior. Depending on the position of the leader, it may be wise to follow the advice given here by Paul in 1 Timothy – and take at least one person with you when you “carefront” a leader.

If the leader repents and deals with their wrong behavior, then because of their position and depending on the seriousness of the behavior or wrongdoing, there may need to be some kind of strong accountability or the leader may need to step down from that position for a while or for a predetermined amount of time set forth by the church leadership.

Sin and wrongful behavior is a serious thing for any follower of Christ but it also needs to be handled biblically – with grace, mercy and love too.