Forgiving Can Be Hard To Do
Forgiveness is something that’s at the core of Christianity yet it’s many Christians struggle with doing it. In the men’s group on Friday mornings, we’ve been delving into how God’s forgiveness towards us is the impetus for us to move toward forgiving others.
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:13-14
Some Heart Medicine
Here are some things that may help you heal some of the hurt in your life that may be keeping you from developing a healthy spiritual heart.
1. Don’t ignore your hurt and pain.
2. Don’t suffer in silence and solitude. Find a safe, non-judgmental person to begin to open up to about what’s going in your heart.
Remember: time alone does not heal everything. Letting time pass and not dealing with the hurt may even lead to a root of bitterness growing in your heart.
3. Face your pain.
Don’t ignore it, don’t run from a hurt – face it … together with God.
4. Refuse to occupy your mind with worry and anxiety.
Worry rarely ever heals the pain in our hearts. It just makes it worse.
5. Don’t wallow in self-pity.
David discovered that resentment doesn’t work either. Resentment clouds our judgment and hampers our ability to see clearly through the pain.
Psalm 73:21-22 “When my thoughts were bitter and my feelings were hurt, I did not understand you.”
6. Refuse to give up!
Psalm 130:1-2 “From the depth of my despair, I call to you Lord. Hear my cry, Lord — listen to my call for help.”
Psalm 142 [2] I bring God all my complaints, I tell Him all my trouble. [3] When I’m ready to give up, He knows what I should do!
Detecting Heart Blockages
There are some things that get in the way of developing a healthy heart: spiritual heart blockages.
Heart blockages are anything that keeps us from living the life that God has for us. These heart blockages can often go undetected.
Psalm 109:22-23 “… my heart is wounded within me. I fade away like an evening shadow.”
Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
The starting place to detect heart blockages is doing what David did in his prayer here in the Psalms:
Psalm 139 [23] Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. [24] Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Ask yourself this question: What am I pretending not to know? What hurt am I simply trying to ignore?
Practical Help for an Ailing Heart
Here are some practical things that we can do to “fix” our ailing spiritual heart:
1. Downshift your busy life.
Remember that we’re human beings – not human “doings.” We need to learn to receive love from God and others – not just give, give, give … and do, do, do. We need to figure out how to downshift some of the busyness in our lives.
2. Leave some space in your life for the God’s Spirit to work.
Ask God to live out His life through you as you go about your everyday life at work, home, etc.
3. Serve from a motive of love for God not out of duty.
Ask yourself, why I am serving people? Why am I doing this? A motive of love sets you free from developing a performance-based Christian experience where you’re constantly trying to gain approval from God and others based on how you serve.
Ask God to help you get to the point of having a motive of love when you serve. What is motivating me to do this? If you’re not enjoying your work or serving – step back and ask yourself — why? Maybe you’re not doing it out of love for God and for His purpose to be worked out in your life.
4. Be creative in using “spare” moments for prayer and spiritual reflection throughout the day. Use coffee breaks at work or play some uplifting spiritual music while driving to work in the morning.
5. Yield your mind right away to the spiritual nudges of God and know that your feelings will follow later.
The Founation for a Healthy Heart
The foundation for having a healthy heart means having the kind of faith that Jesus was talking about here in the Mark 4 story about Jesus calming the storm.
This is the starting place to a healthy spiritual heart. Jesus was trying to teach the disciples in this story that faith means losing control. Following Jesus means giving up control. Faith in Jesus that will help us start off with a healthy heart means giving up control of our lives. Our lives are like the disciples’ situation on this boat. Our circumstances can overwhelm us far beyond our capacity to control them, even to the point of despair.
Maybe that’s you. Are you confused, discouraged – does the Christian life seem to work for others but not for you? If that’s you – there’s good news for you. Following Jesus and believing in him means that we need to surrender our attempts to control what we can’t control and ask God’s intervention. He’smore than capable to handle anything that comes our way.
